I’m a runner, not a walker.

I like to get everything done as fast as I can and all at once. I’m not good at waiting or doing things slow. I want to know the task at hand and then figure out the steps to get it done FAST. This shows up in parenting, in housework, in being a wife, and most definitely in my relationship with God.

I’m a striver.

I can look at the path before me and the goal at the end of the path and instead of slowing down enough to figure out how I’m going to get there, I run full speed ahead, praying that God will help me get there. I shout my prayers at Him, all the while running as fast as I can, where God is a blur and I can barely hear His voice. In these moments, when I’ve gone before him without his directions and I can’t hear God’s voice, I get mad and wonder, “why doesn’t God ever speak to me?”

Here’s what I’ve been learning…

All of my striving is fruitless. In the end I am more worn out than if I would just slow down and do things steadily with God’s help.

God is not in a hurry and He never will be.

I have believed a lie that God is only okay with me when I’m working – and not just slowly working – but hustling.

Couple that lie with the comparison of what I am doing with my life vs. what someone else is doing with theirs. This sort of comparison is a fresh log on the fire of fruitless striving that leaves me worn out.

Recently, I had a friend share a verse with me that spoke to the struggle of striving in life. It was Isaiah 30:21, “Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, ‘This is the way, walk in it.”

Did you see that? He said walk, not run, not strive, not spend every ounce of energy you have, he said walk.

I love the picture that God paints of just walking. It takes such faith to be patient enough to just walk, especially if I believe I have the ability to run. This verse points out that God will tell me exactly where I need to go and when, so there’s no need for striving. I can let go of the lie that says if I’m not hustling then I’m not growing or working for God. (Psalm 46:10).

When the desire to hustle arises, I need to remember the hammock of rest God provides. I need to climb inside and let God do His work instead of my striving.

This is so hard for me to do, but I know deep down inside that it is the right thing and the only way to see God work fully in my life. I have to remember I am a part of a counter-culture; a counterintuitive way of living, where I slow down to get ahead. I surrender all control to see prayers answered. I give up all my fruitless ways to see God accomplish the dreams in my heart. I let go to get back.

This is the beauty of God’s kingdom.


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